Editor:
As a child I was sexually molested. I was also raped twice when I was only 12 years old. I chose not to charge anyone. I am also a 10 year residential school survivor and a survivor from the 60s scoop.
I speak about the abuse and the rapes to work towards my own healing. I am a consultant and have trained First Nation people across Canada for the past 25 years. Some of the training was self healing but I also bought a lot of self help books to heal myself.
Although I experienced traumas in my life, I still worked towards a good education and a life long experience in training our First Nation people. However, the decision not to charge these people was my own decision. I have always looked at life as focussing on the present and the future. I believe that through a lot of self healing I became a stronger person. Also, a happier person.
I did this all so I was not judged. I had issues. But I dealt with them. If, I was still in the trauma stage I would possibly be on drugs and alcohol and perhaps opioids and I would be a different person. But I am both physically and mentally healthy and am very happy with my life.
What bothers me though is when I hear of sexual abusers who say that they themselves are victims. I was a victim. I was lucky to have some education in psychology and criminology to understand crime and deviance. But by all means I will not forgive those who molested and raped me. I don鈥檛 believe in apologies for certain things. An apology and treatment for the offender is not the solution. It never will be. If it in fact, that did work, criminologists would have to do years of experimental studies of abusers and victims.
In all the years of following different criminal cases. I have never heard the abuser say that they were a victim. But I heard it now. I don鈥檛 believe that the judicial system would be more lenient to the offender because they perceives themselves to be a victim.
In criminal law and psychology of law the test is: Did the person know right from wrong? If the answer is yes. Then the convictions should be whatever the judge deems as a fair sentence.
Thank you,
Jean Sam
