Looking for love in the 21st century has advanced beyond going to a bar and getting someone鈥檚 phone number.
While match-making or going to a bar to meet people were tried-and-true methods in the past, Jerry Hinbest, a Vancouver Island University sociology professor, said the growth of the online world has changed romantic pursuits.
鈥淲e probably saw before COVID, over the last 20 years, a fairly major shift into a different kind of relationship, a little less serious,鈥� said Hinbest. 鈥淧eople stop talking about dating entirely for a while, and they said, 鈥極h, people are hooking up,鈥� or they鈥檙e connecting and then they went to dating apps, which redefined things and the idea there was that people are going to be connected to potential life partners, but also something more casual.鈥�
An example of looking for love in contemporary times occurred when Vancouver Island Ferry Company hosted a speed-dating event on one of its Hullo ferries last week. Caitlyn Santos, a participant from Vancouver, said she likes doing 鈥渘ovel and weird things,鈥� and said speed dating is an ideal way to date.
鈥淚 think that this is the way to actually form a connection and meet interesting people. The point of dating isn鈥檛 always to find something romantic,鈥� Santos told the 亚洲天堂 Bulletin. 鈥淚t鈥檚 to meet new people, it鈥檚 to be excited by what other people are doing and become more in touch with yourself. I feel like these are the opportunities where that actually happens.鈥�
Claudia Bastien, from Squamish, has tried online dating, but it鈥檚 not her cup of tea.
鈥淚 haven鈥檛 online dated in four years,鈥� she said. 鈥淚t鈥檚 just not necessary. I don鈥檛 need to, I have some phenomenal people that I know in my community that I resonate with. I just tend to meet people wherever I go anyways.鈥�
Brendan Milholm, from Nanaimo, is used to the more traditional style of dating, and hasn鈥檛 tried online dating. This month鈥檚 Hullo ferry event was his first time speed dating and he liked the fact there were people from different places and 鈥渋t was quick.鈥�
Milholm was even able to get a couple of phone numbers from people from the mainland. He would try speed dating again, he said.
鈥淚t鈥檚 unique, different, it鈥檚 better than using an app I guess,鈥� said Milholm. 鈥淚鈥檓 not on a dating app, so this is something that鈥檚 a bit more personal 鈥� I鈥檓 more about a natural kind of relationship and building that than going online and swiping through people.鈥�
The VIU prof Hinbest says that dating in the digital age isn鈥檛 without problems, with concerns about algorithms and online surveillance. People are also leery, he said, as what they see might not be what they鈥檙e getting.
鈥淥ne of the things that we know from a sociological take on social psychology 鈥� when people make presentations of themselves to other people, it鈥檚 different online compared to in-person鈥︹�� he said. 鈥淥nline, people put in the wrong pictures, they make a presentation of self that is fraudulent in a way, it may not be intentionally wrong, but it ends up being incomplete.鈥�
Hinbest, who met his wife on a blind date, said in a sense, dating apps are blind dates as well.
鈥淚t鈥檚 a really common thing to have tried [and daters鈥橾 criteria for success are going to be different鈥︹�� he said. 鈥淭hey鈥檙e not necessarily looking for a long-term thing. Especially during COVID, people were just looking to connect to somebody and it didn鈥檛 matter so much that they weren鈥檛 actually in person. But then at some point, the rubber hits the road, right?鈥�
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