Our esteemed colleagues at the Nanaimo ÑÇÖÞÌìÌà Bulletin recently released a list of the in that city.

(Spoiler alert: Buddy, Max, Charlie, Molly, Bailey, Bear, Lucy, Daisy, Bella and Jake; we’ll check on the PQB results for you shortly)

That got me to thinking’ about my own history of pet ownership and how happy I always am to re-share my own naming adventures and get a chance to hear some of yours.

So, just how do you go about naming your pets?

Is there an intricate process? A gut feeling? Make use of a special naming website (they do exist)? Let your children do the honours?

I always enjoy the creative names, even if they degenerate into low-effort nicknames, like the pets were your hockey teammates.

The first pet we had when I was a young boy was a calico kitty named ‘Dilly’, which was shortened from Dylan Thomas, my Mum’s favourite poet.

The oft-crabby Dilly lived to be 24, easily outdistancing our other cat Patches (white with patches of black, or vice-versa, depending on how you looked at it). So we didn’t get much chance to name endless pets.

We briefly had a Samoyed named Dakota, shortened to Cody and renamed (by me) as Cujo.

The poor pooch had a brain tumour, which when it flared up made it a growling, barking fiend.

For a short time we had another cat ‘KC’ (short for Kitty Cat, original I know) but KC met an untimely demise.

My last ‘growing up’ pet was Misty, another Samoyed whose full name was Burr’s Artic Mist (and some sort of championship pedigree stuff I’ve long forgotten). Absolutely sweetheart of a dog.

Not a long list and it certainly pales in comparison to the menagerie of animals we’ve had since I struck out on my own.

The very first kitties we ever had were Smoky (grey in colour, I mentioned I’m very original) and his white pal Bandit.

Bandit was quickly shortened to B, but was also more inappropriately known as Blanket Humper B (shoutout to Bud Bundy).

After those two, I kind of lost my naming rights, with all the younger members of the household taking over.

After the two originals came the best dog ever, Aiko, a giant mushbag of a wolf-malamute cross whose name meant ‘love’.

His partner in crime was Sam, a massive Anatonial shepherd who I guess looked like a ‘Sam’.

Save for Aiko, I don’t think I’ve ever called any of the animals who came later by their actual name – unless they did something wrong.

Sam was ‘Sam Chops’ to most of the others, ‘Ulf Samuelsson’, ‘Samsonite Luggage’ and ‘Samuel J. Chops, canine attorney’ to me. Don’t ask me to explain.

Both pooches are now in doggie heaven, along with Diesel, the black lab who became Sam’s best buddy and I called ‘Doyle’ because that was how the two-year-old pronounced his name.

After Diesel came our current black lab, Charlie (hey, we made the list!) who I call ‘Wigs’ because when he greets you he wiggles in serpentine fashion like late-1980s Axl Rose.

He also answers to Charleston Chew, Chuckster, Charlie Bear and probably a few more nicknames I’m not aware of.

A cornucopia of kitties have also followed the original pair.

There’s been Junior Bandit (also known as ‘Jubs’), Tommy, TJ (‘Widgets’ or ‘Widgies’; I don’t recall why); Oreo (colours like the cookie); Wookie (poor guy, wandered off one day never to be heard from again); and Taco (mostly known now as ‘T’, ‘Bell’ for Taco Bell, ‘Princess T’ or simply ‘Pretty Girl’).

My post-Smoky favourite was Chevrolet Silverado BMX Jet Ski Lamborghini Dirt Bike (The First). A majestic orange alpha male who was named by the five-year-old lad in the house who clearly took his naming responsibilities very seriously.

Sadly, we lost Chevy (his shortened moniker) to a heart ailment when he was just five.

Along with Taco, we still have two other kitties, one with a bit of an inappropriate moniker and ‘Link’, named after the video game character.

He’s like the aforementioned sports teammates, I just call him Linky or Art Linkletter, a TV name I remember from long ago.

There’s also been a handful of fish and birds and rodents that everyone but me was interested in. What’s your best pet name story? I’d love to hear your original names and the tales behind them.

Bonus points for pics.

PQB ÑÇÖÞÌìÌÃ/Vancouver Island Free Daily editor Philip Wolf welcomes your questions, comments and story ideas. He can be reached at 250-905-0029 or via email at philip.wolf@blackpress.ca.