鈥淪pace Disco Cowboy.鈥� 鈥淵acht Shabbat.鈥� 鈥淏urning Man Formal鈥�? More couples are tossing tradition when it comes to to some befuddlement among invitees.
Maggie Long, 34, recently attended the nuptials of a close friend in a low-key Denver lounge. The suggested dress? 鈥淒ive Bar Semiformal.鈥�
鈥淚 love a theme,鈥� said Long, who lives in New York. 鈥淚t鈥檚 fun that people aren鈥檛 taking weddings so seriously, but I had no idea what that meant.鈥�
After exchanging thoughts for months with the officiant, who is also a friend, Long took her outfit idea 鈥� a strappy-back, low-cut ultra-mini purple dress with a high side slit 鈥� to the bride. The bride deemed it a bit too 鈥淜ardashian cosplay.鈥� Long finally settled on a longer gold lam茅 dress by Norma Kamali, and a great time was had.
鈥淭here were a lot of vintage jumpsuits. One of our friends went full 1960s with go-go boots and a bouffant. A lot of sequins were happening,鈥� Long said.
Some couples are offering mood boards as a way to guide guests, including older ones. At the dive bar wedding, Long said plenty of older guests got into the spirit. One donned a rainbow tie-dye T-shirt, 脿 la the Grateful Dead.
Other wedding guests have contended with 鈥淭ropical Formal,鈥� 鈥淪nappy Casual鈥� and 鈥淕arden Party Whimsical.鈥�
Heading into the busy summer season and other special events, Indya Wright in Washington, D.C., has had enough.
She recently posted on Twitter: 鈥淭hese new age event dress codes are the bane of my existence. What happened to just 鈥榗asual,鈥� 鈥榗ocktail鈥� and 鈥榝ormal鈥�? Now I gotta Google 鈥楢fter 5 Formal Festive Renaissance attire鈥� to figure out if you want me to give Great Gatsby or King Arthur & the Knights of the Round Table.鈥�
Wright, 35, remains frustrated. The wedding of a college classmate had a 鈥渟mart, but not too smart casual鈥� dress code.
Ren茅e Strauss, co-founder and CEO of the destination wedding planning company Wedaways in Beverly Hills, California, said wacky dress codes come down to couples striving to make their nuptials custom and unique.
鈥淭he key is making sure there鈥檚 communication behind the dress code. Don鈥檛 just confuse guests,鈥� she said.
When her company builds wedding websites for clients, it includes descriptions for dress codes like 鈥淲ine Country Chic,鈥� urging couples to offer a broad enough palette for people to express themselves. 鈥淭ropical Formal,鈥� for instance, could be long, flowing dresses in bright summer colors and linen suits with playful ties.
鈥淢ost guests have a lot of fun with it,鈥� Strauss said.
Rikki Gotthelf, 32, in Los Angeles, attended a wedding recently and has three more this year. She was a bridesmaid for the 鈥淪pace Disco Cowboy鈥� nuptials of friends who shuttled their guests to an abandoned ghost town near Austin, Texas.
鈥淲e had these shiny intergalactic Batsheva prairie dresses. Mine was iridescent,鈥� Gotthelf said. 鈥淎nother wedding I went to was 鈥楩unky Formal.鈥欌��
For guidance, Gotthelf turned to Sophie Strauss, who bills herself as a 鈥渟tylist for regular people.鈥� Strauss suggests following up with the couple if they haven鈥檛 made themselves clear.
鈥淭hey won鈥檛 be offended,鈥� she said. 鈥淭hey鈥檙e invested enough in how everyone looks to have put forth a kooky dress code.鈥�
One of her clients has a 鈥淢usic Festival Formal鈥� wedding coming up.
鈥淗e clarified with the couple that it鈥檚 more Woodstock, less Burning Man. Good to know,鈥� Strauss said.
The difference? Hippie flowy dresses, bell bottoms, tunics, tie dye, big round sunglasses and woven headbands for the former. 鈥淢ad Max-meets-Carnival on mushrooms鈥� in lam茅, combat boots, rhinestones, body paint and goggles for the latter, she said. Her client decided on a neutral-tone linen suit with a vintage beaded necklace or two.
Strauss implored guests staring down out-there dress codes to remember: 鈥淚t鈥檚 not a costume. Unless, of course, it鈥檚 literally a costume party.鈥�
Small adjustments may be enough, like wearing a regular suit but swapping out a dress shirt for one in an on-theme pattern. James Berger, 32, in Las Vegas, was among guests told to express their inner spirit. He managed a black polka dot bow tie with a formal suit that left him feeling 鈥渟lightly out of place鈥� among a sea of vibrant colors.
Strauss regularly faces the issue among her clients.
鈥淚 had a client who had to do a 鈥楩ancy Ranch鈥� theme a few months ago and she was tempted to go buy a new outfit from head to toe,鈥� Strauss said. 鈥淏ut pairing some cowboy boots with a sundress or swapping a tie for a bolo tie goes a long way. And if you鈥檙e really into it you could add a cowboy hat. You don鈥檛 need to dress like Orville Peck to fit the theme, though if that鈥檚 your style, oh my god go for it!鈥�
There鈥檚 often sentimental meaning behind wedding themes. Madison Smith, 32, is a May 2024 bride and her dress code calls for 鈥淏lack Tie Sunset Glam.鈥� The wedding will be held at the Bonnet Island Estate in Long Beach Island, New Jersey.
鈥淚t鈥檚 in honor of my late grandfather,鈥� she said of the theme. 鈥淗is favorite thing was the sunsets where I鈥檓 getting married.鈥�
Her vision? Sunset-colored gowns of oranges, yellows, purples, blues and pinks with fun accessories, and tuxedoes with bow ties and pocket squares of the same colors.
Smith, in Arlington, Virginia, hasn鈥檛 left guests guessing. She works for inspiration to give them a boost. Her to tackle Smith鈥檚 鈥淟oveShackFancy鈥� dress code.
鈥淭hey have no precedent for an unusual dress code where a couple calls for something other than black tie, formal, cocktail or casual attire. When you receive an invitation that reads 鈥楩estive Hudson Valley Chic鈥� or 鈥楾ropical Hipster,鈥� it can certainly bode more questions than less for those used to more traditional themes,鈥� said Amy Shey Jacobs, founder of Chandelier Events in New York.
鈥淐hic as F鈥攌.鈥� 鈥淕ay Garden Party.鈥� 鈥淏lack Tie Fabulous.鈥� 鈥淐olorful Cocktail.鈥� 鈥淪parkle and Shine.鈥� 鈥淩ed Carpet Ready.鈥� Jove Meyer, owner and creative director of an eponymous event planning company in Brooklyn, has handled all of the above in dress codes.
鈥淎s much as I love a fun and unique dress code, I always suggest couples clarify exactly what they mean with a descriptive sentence or two so there鈥檚 no guessing,鈥� he said.
Brittny Drye, editor in chief of the wedding resource magazine Love Inc., said guests shouldn鈥檛 be reluctant to quiz the bridal couple about a puzzling dress code.
鈥淲e never want to bombard the couple,鈥� she said, 鈥渂ut when they鈥檙e asking their guests to abide by a nontraditional dress code, they鈥檙e signing themselves up to be asked questions.鈥�
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